Sometimes all we need is a little reminder that we matter. And that what we do matters.

I had one of those reminders today- as I went out for a 6:45 run this morning.

I went out a little distressed and confused. For the last [almost] two years of my life, I've been trying to figure out what I want to do for, well, the rest of my life! [A predicament that I'm sure many of you have been/are/will be stuck in]

I know the type of person who I would like to be. And the process of being the person I want to become has been so rewarding.

But it's time that I uncover hidden, dusty parts of myself that haven't yet been manifest to the world.

How can I influence others, and my future family? What path should I take?

I know what I love to do: run. Surprise.

But I just feel like there's something about me that I don't know yet. Something that Heavenly Father knows and is just waiting patiently for me to discover.

How can I discover it?

Back to the run.

I guess the answer came when I stopped at the temple and watched the sunrise from the grounds.

Breathtaking.

And I didn't get an answer to what I should do-

but I got an answer of comfort that I will find out, and if I keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and at least make starts along new paths [leaps into the dark, but not blindly], then I'll be ok.

That word, ok, feels so good in my mouth right now.

I'll be ok.

My life will be ok. And not only ok, but amazing. Awe-inspiring. Beautiful. Divine.

I matter. And I know that I matter.

And that's all there really is to it.

“This hill though high I covent ascend;
The difficulty will not me offend;
For I perceive the way of life lies here.
Come, pluck up, heart; let's neither faint nor fear. ”
― John Bunyan, The Pilgrim's Progress

I think it's been a little while...oh dear.
The thing is, I have so much to say- but no way to say it. Which is a tad bit frustrating.
Ah well.
I ran a race last Saturday- an 11 mile race climbing up 3500' and then back down.
It was originally a 28 mile race (which I wasn't going to run per lack of preparation), but because of snow safety issues, it was dramatically cut down to 11.
With 11 miles, fear of death was no longer a factor. So I ran it.
Hiking.
Trudging through miles of snow.
Bloody knees.
Running alongside ultra-runners.
I finally realized that I can.
I can do hard things- and I will always, always, love it when I'm done.
Comparison never gets me anywhere.
An incredible breakthrough moment materialized when I realized that I am who I've wanted to become for so long.
Progress has not stopped, but satisfaction is grasped and held.
For so long I was afraid to be defined by what I do. [run]
For fear that one day it wouldn't be there and I would be lost.
But now I embrace it! It's made me who I am. And even if my legs fall off, I'll still consider myself a runner.
I don't care if that's all you know about me.
Because my Heavenly Father and I know that I have been given this gift and desire for a reason.
Many reasons actually.
My name is Jamie, and I love to run.