In light of recent events, I feel like I've learned some important lessons:

1. The Lord will always answer your prayers. More often than not, in ways that you didn't expect. And the answer to your prayer may be the answer to someone else's completely different, but equally important one.

2. Be aware of your emotions. What you are feeling at any given moment. Recognize it and embrace it. If it is negative, embrace it only long enough to let it go. Don't deny anything that you may be feeling. Every emotion is an important part of learning about the very essence of yourself.

3. Along with the previous one, do not force an emotion upon yourself. In the wise words of Baron Baptiste, doing so would be like "forcing a rose to blossom". It's ok to have days full of sorrow, if we never reached the depths of sadness we would never soar to the very heights of joy and happiness.

4. People are beautiful and recognizing that beauty and passion in others will help you to find those things in yourself.

5. God knows what He's doing.

6. It doesn't matter if going out of your comfort zone seems small compared to what other people have done outside of their comfort zones. You are not other people.

7. Have a passion. Experience something so beautiful and amazing that you cannot possibly even begin to describe it to someone else.

8. Like the famous (or infamous?) song says...say what you need to say. Whether or not you use words to say it. Communicate with those you love. Very few things will bring you greater peace of mind. Do not worry about whether or not they will accept you. "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

9. Tell those who you love, that you do indeed love them. Tell them as frequently as possible. Even if you may not be in a loving frame of mind. You know that you still love them and it is important to remember that.

10. To quote some incredible people in my life, "sing your own song". We each have our own song to sing and we cannot change the pure melody of what it is. The key or the dynamics may change, but the melody is unfailing. If part of your song is being super emotional, then by golly sing it! If you need to occasionally listen to Taylor Swift and old Jesse McCartney then do! If marathons pull at your heartstrings then run for as long as you feel pulled. You are who you are and you need what you need. Don't try to change your song for anybody.

I think it's been a little while...oh dear.
The thing is, I have so much to say- but no way to say it. Which is a tad bit frustrating.
Ah well.
I ran a race last Saturday- an 11 mile race climbing up 3500' and then back down.
It was originally a 28 mile race (which I wasn't going to run per lack of preparation), but because of snow safety issues, it was dramatically cut down to 11.
With 11 miles, fear of death was no longer a factor. So I ran it.
Hiking.
Trudging through miles of snow.
Bloody knees.
Running alongside ultra-runners.
I finally realized that I can.
I can do hard things- and I will always, always, love it when I'm done.
Comparison never gets me anywhere.
An incredible breakthrough moment materialized when I realized that I am who I've wanted to become for so long.
Progress has not stopped, but satisfaction is grasped and held.
For so long I was afraid to be defined by what I do. [run]
For fear that one day it wouldn't be there and I would be lost.
But now I embrace it! It's made me who I am. And even if my legs fall off, I'll still consider myself a runner.
I don't care if that's all you know about me.
Because my Heavenly Father and I know that I have been given this gift and desire for a reason.
Many reasons actually.
My name is Jamie, and I love to run.

try easy

i firmly believe that taking care of my body physically increases my spiritual and emotional stamina.
today i concluded my week with 48 miles.
i haven't done that since before the top of utah marathon last september!
i'm feeling pretty good. sore- but fantastic.
it's really an incredible thing what your body can do. don't think about how hard it might be.
don't try hard, try easy. it's not always as complicated as you might make it out to be in your mind.
be smart of course, but don't be too logical.
i can't believe how good i feel. life is incredible. my heart might burst through my chest for how full it is.
ironic really that i've been running in a quaint little town called providence this week.
for i've seen the providence of the Lord in every tree, leaf, and pebble.

what are the tender mercies that you've seen in your life this week?

why do i do it?

why do i run?

i run and it hurts [ a good hurt].

this hurt causes a strange phenomenon-

i become me.

like an emotional cadaver,

i am exposed and raw.

no pretending, no facades.

because of this:

i am given the opportunity to reflect.

to not read in between the lines.

i can see the me i want others to see.

my unimportant world fades-

and my important one becomes clearer.

"My PRs will never garner attention or generate awards. But when I run, I am 100
percent me- my strengths and weaknesses play out like a cracked- open diary, my
emotions often as raw as the chafing from my jog bra. In my ultimate moments of
vulnerability, I am twice the woman I was when I though I was meant to look
pretty on the sidelines. Sweaty and smiling, breathless and beautiful: runing
helps us all shine. A lesson worth passing along."

- Kristin Armstrong

the canals.

1100 north.

old, familiar paths of accidentally discovering myself.
again, and again, and again. . .

i only have winter shots. but i think that the snow is magically beautiful.

my favorite

i love that i caught this girl sledding

home.